Caregiver Guilt

Well, first I must apologize for my short absence.  It has been a stressful couple of weeks.  Anyhow, I am having to confront a common caregiver problem in my own life and that is the issue of caregiver guilt.  Those of you that are caregivers will know exactly what I mean and need little explanation.  However, for the sake of disclosure, I will do my best to describe it.  Caregiver guilt is that feeling caregivers get in which they begin to isolate and/or no longer participate in things they once enjoyed because their loved one can either not participate or because the ordeal involved in having their loved one participate is so difficult.  I will use an example from my own life.

I have never been someone that enjoys aerobics or, well, most forms of exercise.  I like to walk, but with my son's difficulties with walking long distances and suffering from chronic pain, I felt guilty to leave him at home and I felt guilty to bring him along.  So I just stopped exercising.  That is not a good plan for a person like myself who has gained a lot of weight in the typical stress zones, what they call "apple fat."  I didn't even realize how horribly out of shape I had become until my son got his wheelchair (almost 2 weeks ago). Now he is pushing me to walk everyday and I am sucking some air my friends.  I am having to confront what I have done to myself by giving in to unhealthy guilt.

It isn't wrong for you, as a caregiver, to take some time to yourself and do something that is important to you, or perhaps just something you enjoy and can unwind doing.  What I have realized from my personal life is that my son wanted me to do things to be healthier and it made him feel badly because he felt like it was his fault if I was unhealthy.  Of course I never meant to send such a message, but your loved ones carry their own emotional burden when they are so reliant on you.  If they feel you are unhappy from the stress of taking care of them, they blame themselves.  So keep that in perspective when you have that unwarranted guilt pop its ugly head up and make you feel you can't or shouldn't do something you really should do.